A Bitter Reminder
by DollyDolls
Summary: Like a child scared of the dark, scared of seeing what lurked in their closet, he rammed his proverbial eyes shut and kept them that way, trying to ignore the nagging fear that the monster that was inside himself might be growing stronger. Drabble.


That night, Sasuke had a dream of them. Kakashi and Naruto and Sakura and everyone else he was scared of seeing – even if he didn't want to admit it.

He was scared. Scared of seeing their reactions to him after he left. Scared that they would shun him. Scared that he would lose them more than he already had. Scared of seeing them again.

In reality, he was scared of seeing at all, because what if he saw the monster under the bed? Like a child scared of the dark, scared of seeing what lurked in their closet, he rammed his proverbial eyes shut and kept them that way, trying to ignore the nagging fear that the monster that was inside himself might be growing stronger.

When his own sobs woke him up from the dream, he couldn't remember the finer details, or any details, really, except for one – they had all looked at him with terrifyingly cold eyes. And it was then, at two in the morning, sobbing and trembling and surrounded yet completely alone, that Sasuke convinced himself that they hated him (hated him because he had let them down and because he was nothing more to them than a bitter reminder of what disappointment was.)

It took him more than fifteen minutes to calm down.

In his short life, Sasuke had been through hell and back. He had grown smarter, faster, stronger, if not strong enough, but that did not change the fact that he was a thirteen year old and he was surrounded yet completely alone (alone because he had let them down and because he was nothing more than a bitter reminder of what disappointment was.)

Years passed and the little child that had Sasuke's proverbial eyes kept them shut while Sasuke's real eyes turned crimson more and more often. And every time they flashed, every time he killed someone needlessly, the little child inside of him would wince and close his eyes tighter, as if he was hearing the breath of the monster slowly over-taking him, and he knew that he couldn't fight back. How could he when he was so small and this monster was so big and scary with snake-like fangs and stretching body parts and eyes that didn't belong on that pale, snake-like face at all – it had Itachi's eyes.

In the end, Sasuke was consumed by the monster inside of him. In the end, that little child died, without ever once opening its eyes. In the end, Sasuke didn't even realize that the monster that was Itachi-Orochimaru had won (won because he had let them down and because he was nothing more to them than a bitter reminder of what disappointment was.)

In the end, Sasuke died at the hands of the people he once was most scared to see, people he was once most scared of disappointing, and the people he was once most scared of losing.

-author's note-

Okay, first attempt at writing angst. Ever. Seriously. Up until now, I thought that humor was the hardest thing to write, but I have changed my mind – angst is. I kept looking back at it and going 'it's not depressing enough!' You have no idea how many times I edited this piece. Really. The problem with angst is that your diction has to be flawless or else it doesn't flow correctly, whereas in humor, it's not quite as much of a big deal. I have some more observations about the differences, but I won't bore you with them.

So, the idea of Sasuke waking up from a dream like this just got to me and I put Changes on hold so I could write this (don't hate me.) I dunno, my muse for it froze and I feel like a dirty rotten liar cause I said it would be out quickly. At least you know why? Anyway, this was not originally at all how I intended it to end, but I didn't feel up to writing multi-chapter angst, just because the entire style is so foreign to me. Maybe if I get used to it/better at it I'll think of something, but for now, I think it's best to leave this as is.

I was also originally going to do a separate piece for all of Team Seven, but I ended up not doing that, either, because I don't have quite the understanding of Naruto or Sakura's character as I feel like I do the other two. It was harder to imagine standing in their positions and fully exploring what they might feel, you know? It felt like it would take up entirely too much time when I need to get back to Changes. Because this 600-word drabble right here literally took me over a week to write. _Angst is so freaking hard._ That's basically my point.

Another thing – the repetition. Like I said, originally there was going to be so much more to this than what I have, during which I think the repetition would start to blend in better. I'm not exactly sure if I like how it's used here, but I'm not exactly sure if I _dislike _it either. So I don't know.

_Anyways, _reviews are loved. Constructive criticism, please. 3


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